Ever since a new hockey team arrived in my town and decided to call themselves the "Wild," the Blog has dedicated itself to exposing ridiculously unoriginal, unappealing, and uninspiring sports nicknames, logos, and uniforms. Now the Blog has searched the archives of sports history and is finally able to present to you the authoritative list of the worst 10 sports nicknames ever:
#10: The Minnesota Wild
- not lived in or cultivated; waste
- lacking social or moral restraint; dissolute
- fantastically impractical; reckless
- missing the target /a wild shot
- card games having any desired value: said of the card
- a wilderness or wasteland
Your guess is as good as mine.
#9: The Chicago Orphans
(No logo available)
That's what the Chicago Cubs were called from 1898 until 1901. There must have been a reason behind this, but not knowing what it is simply makes me wonder what the mascot must have been. A child in rags walking around asking if anyone has seen his parents?
An ABA basketball team from 1968-1972. What's with the one multicolored letter in the midst of the black letters? Once again, I am filled with questions that need answers. It's a good thing this trend didn't catch on, or else we'd have leagues full of teams like the Spokane Washingtonians, the Jackson Mississippians, the Albequerque Newmexicans, the Des Moines Iowegians, the Houston Texans....Oh, wait...
#7: The Houston / Dallas Texans
Long before this horribly unoriginal nickname was used by the NFL expansion team in Houston in 2002, it was used by the Dallas Texans (above) from 1960-62 (who have since become the Kansas City Chiefs), and the Houston Texans of the WFL (below) in 1974.
And then it was resurrected again in 1996 in the Arena Football League:
But wait...there's more...
#6: The Honolulu Hawaiians
#5: The New York-New Jersey Hitmen
I could throw the entire collection of XFL teams into this list, but I only have room for ten so I'm picking one to represent all (sorry, L.A. Xtreme and Memphis Maniax). Haven't you ever thought to yourself: "hey, I could really get behind a team that celebrates my city's history of murder and organized crime."?
#4: (TIE) The Toronto Northmen and the Memphis Southmen
Two more winners from the WFL. And they're both bears for some reason. Inexplicable.
#3: The Miami Vise
And here I thought that it couldn't get any worse in Miami than Floridians. Apparently they've used up all the names of fish and other animals so there's nothing left to do but name their teams after a TV series. This team didn't even last as long as the TV series; they were only around for one year (1987) in the Arena Football League. Don't ask me what that logo is supposed to be.
#2: The Boston Beaneaters
The Atlanta Braves went through five nicknames (Beaneaters, Doves, Rustlers, Bees, Braves) and three cities (Boston, Milwaukee, Atlanta) before arriving where they are today. Let this be a lesson to teams like the Wild that it's okay to change something if you don't get it right the first time.
#1: The Green Bay Packers
No explanation needed.