The 10 worst nicknames in sports history

Ever since a new hockey team arrived in my town and decided to call themselves the "Wild," the Blog has dedicated itself to exposing ridiculously unoriginal, unappealing, and uninspiring sports nicknames, logos, and uniforms.  Now the Blog has searched the archives of sports history and is finally able to present to you the authoritative list of the worst 10 sports nicknames ever:

#10: The Minnesota Wild

It took me two years to figure out that this logo was supposed to be two images in one.  I still can't figure out what the nickname represents.  Here are a few options from Webster:

• not lived in or cultivated; waste
• lacking social or moral restraint; dissolute
• fantastically impractical; reckless
• missing the target /a wild shot
• card games having any desired value: said of the card
• a wilderness or wasteland
• enthusiastic

Your guess is as good as mine.

#9: The Chicago Orphans

(No logo available)

That's what the Chicago Cubs were called from 1898 until 1901.  There must have been a reason behind this, but not knowing what it is simply makes me wonder what the mascot must have been.  A child in rags walking around asking if anyone has seen his parents?

#8: The Miami Floridians

An ABA basketball team from 1968-1972.  What's with the one multicolored letter in the midst of the black letters?  Once again, I am filled with questions that need answers.  It's a good thing this trend didn't catch on, or else we'd have leagues full of teams like the Spokane Washingtonians, the Jackson Mississippians, the Albequerque Newmexicans, the Des Moines Iowegians, the Houston Texans....Oh, wait...

#7: The Houston / Dallas Texans

Long before this horribly unoriginal nickname was used by the NFL expansion team in Houston in 2002, it was used by the Dallas Texans (above) from 1960-62 (who have since become the Kansas City Chiefs), and the Houston Texans of the WFL (below) in 1974.

And then it was resurrected again in 1996 in the Arena Football League:

But wait...there's more...

#6: The Honolulu Hawaiians

I kid you not.  They were another WFL team from 1974.  No wonder that league only lasted one year.

#5: The New York-New Jersey Hitmen

I could throw the entire collection of XFL teams into this list, but I only have room for ten so I'm picking one to represent all (sorry, L.A. Xtreme and Memphis Maniax).  Haven't you ever thought to yourself: "hey, I could really get behind a team that celebrates my city's history of murder and organized crime."?

#4: (TIE) The Toronto Northmen and the Memphis Southmen

Two more winners from the WFL.  And they're both bears for some reason.  Inexplicable.

#3: The Miami Vise

And here I thought that it couldn't get any worse in Miami than Floridians.  Apparently they've used up all the names of fish and other animals so there's nothing left to do but name their teams after a TV series.  This team didn't even last as long as the TV series; they were only around for one year (1987) in the Arena Football League.  Don't ask me what that logo is supposed to be.

#2: The Boston Beaneaters

The Atlanta Braves went through five nicknames (Beaneaters, Doves, Rustlers, Bees, Braves) and three cities (Boston, Milwaukee, Atlanta) before arriving where they are today.  Let this be a lesson to teams like the Wild that it's okay to change something if you don't get it right the first time.

#1: The Green Bay Packers

No explanation needed. 

Comments

[Jay Jorgenson]

You can't just pick on the pack because they have such a dumb name. It does make you wonder what a "packer" really is. It probably has something to do with cheese. I'm surprised the Minnesota Swarm didn't make it on. Soon we'll be seeing a team called the Salem Witchburners.

[Luke Middleton]

All this makes me want to go read about the rich and historic heritage of vikings in Minnesota.

[CrummyJoel]

I hate all of those name like the "Wild". I hate the "Heat", I hate the "Magic", I hate all of those.

The Wild get the double whammy, though, with the worst uniforms in sports. Santa Claus red, Christmas Tree green, and Camoflauge Tan. Yum!

[Jack Bauer]

As I understand it, the Green Bay Packers name is referring to meat packers, not cheese. Wisconsin has another rather unique name for the high school sports team in Rhinelander. They are called the "Hodags" and you can read more about them here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hodag

[Tim]

There is a AAA or AA Baseball team in Michigan called the Lansing Lugnuts.

Gotta luv ballclubs