Spaz has his list of ten ways to achieve awesomeness. I have no such list. But that which I have I give thee. Behold...
Ten ways to achieve awkwardness:
- Go to the movies and practice stand-up comedy when the sound goes out. (No, really.)
- Don't bother to check your fly before standing at the front of your English class in junior high.
- Wear your Spiderman underwear the day you have to go in for a physical.
- Wear anything to school that your mom brings home from Goodwill.
- Floss at stoplights.
- When you invite two girls to the same event, don't expect them both to show up. Furthermore, don't expect each of them to think they were the only one you invited.
- Don't assume that the sign that reads "VIP entrance" does not lead to the bathroom. (There's a story behind this one that involves a near collision with Magic Johnson.)
- Stop at a rest area and go inside the bathroom to change your clothes, but don't bother to check for a sign that says "MEN" on the outside of the door.
- Forget the snap count when you're playing center in junior high football and the snap count is "tap."
- Start a blog.