Just because I'm not watching football this year doesn't mean I don't get to complain about it. I'll have a recap of the DG conference when I get around to it, but first I've gotta get this out of the way.
I think it was very providential that the events of yesterday would be so ordered that my biggest temptation of the year would be placed on the same weekend as the conference. I can't imagine many scenarios where I could spend my afternoon just blocks away from a Viking-Packer game in progress and be able to completely ignore it, but that's what I did yesterday. It wasn't easy, especially when seeing the flood of Vikings and Packers jerseys floating around downtown while I was trying to eat breakfast and knowing that football immortality was planning to break the NFL touchdown pass record that day against my Purple. The only thing that could take my mind off of that would be a killer Piper sermon.
At about 12:30 I had an experience which I have never had before. I had to rush Spinney to the airport right after the conference which took me right past the Dome and I was fully aware of what was taking place inside. I clenched the steering wheel and tried to focus on the road, resisting the urge to flip on the radio. Traffic was light. There was an eerie quietness on the streets. I remembered Piper's story about Polycarp from the morning's sermon and figured that if he could stand the flames for an hour, surely I could get through this tumultuous turn of events.
I refocused on the road and made my way to the airport without turning on the radio, said goodbye to Spinney, and then went home and went straight to bed. When I awoke a few hours later I clicked onto nfl.com to see what had happened. The first thing I discovered was that the Vikings broke out their throwback uniforms for this game, perhaps only to torture me further. Now please tell me what rational, sane person would prefer this...
to this...
So I clicked the video box to see what it looked like when the greatest uniforms in the history of sports were resurrected for one more Sunday only to find out that Favre did indeed break the record for TD passes. This brings two things to mind. First, seeing someone do something great in a Packer uniform is like seeing a Ferrari with Wisconsin license plates. You think to yourself, "Hey, nice car, but...you live in Wisconsin so how great can your life really be?"
Secondly, does anyone else think it odd that Brett Favre is having this great year right around the same age that Barry Bonds started to become superhuman? Uhhh, funny...he was an average quarterback who liked to throw interceptions most of his career and now he's ripping up the league at age 38. Sound familiar? Perhaps we should check into whether or not Bonds and Favre are hooked up with the same drug dealer personal trainer. You heard it here first.
Okay, so I'm a little biased. Aren't you glad I'm not watching football this year? Can you imagine what I'd be like if I was?
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