Today I will be performing a stunt which no man should ever attempt. I will attempt to watch an entire NBA basketball game.....without making any negative comments!!!
(Remember, I am a trained professional. For your own safety, do not try this at home.)
Okay, it looks like the game is about to begin...let's see, there sure is a lot of action here already...wow, it's 2-0 already...oh look, the other team just tied it up...it's 2-2 and we're not even a minute into the first quarter...there sure is a lot of good offense on these two teams...at this rate both teams could have close to 50 points by halftime...this is great for people with short attention spans who need to see a score every few seconds...for some reason the team on defense just stands around and holds their hands in the air...there must be some strategy behind that...oh, they called a foul on that guy for brushing the other player's arm as he was trying to score...that'll teach him to try to stop the other team from scoring...this must really build up the self-esteem of the offensive players if the other team isn't allowed to stop them from scoring...oh look, that guy just ran right by five players and scored again...I wonder why the other team doesn't try to get in the way...oh yeah, because that would be a foul...wow, this is really exciting...I'm on the edge of my seat here waiting to see which team will get to 500 first...wow, I love scoring...this is so much better than hockey where they let the other team get in the way and play defense and ruin the game...score, score, score...who could ask for anything more...this is so exciting that I think I'm going to...DIE IF I HAVE TO KEEP WATCHING THIS!!! I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! TURN IT BACK TO HOCKEY!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!